Truth or Dare
by I-Eat-Zombies89
Summary: Bella & Alice have been best friends since they met, almost 7 years ago. Bella & Edward, Alice's older brother, have been nothing at all. For the past 7 years they've avoided each other. A game of Truth or Dare sparks an unlikely, inevitable friendship.
1. Chapter 1

**N/A: This is my first time willingly showing anyone a story of mine... let alone POSTING a story of mine online where ANYONE could read it. Don't be too harsh. I have no friends (POOR ME) in the online fandom, so I don'****t have anyone to proof read this for me, so excuse mistakes or I don't ****know if this is gonna even look ok once I submit it. I plan on having this be just in BPOV because it honestly seems way too hard to be in two character's heads. But who knows. Idk if I'll make a playlist for every chapter or any of that stuff, but I love music just as much as I love reading and writing, so I'll at least sneak some song recs here and there. Beginning with _The Beast_ by_ Laura Marlin_g,**_I Had Lost My Mind _by_ Daniel Johnston,_ and_ Zombie _by_ The Pretty Reckless._** ****Also, my twitter is mj812 if anyone is interested. I hardly tweet anymore but tweets and direct messages get sent to my phone so I'll likely answer those faster since I'm already dreading posting and I'll probably put off checking ffn. **

**PS: If you do go on my twitter, please don't judge me on my previous posts. I was in a very dark, very drunk, state of mind when I used to tweet :)**

"But where does this fear come from?" he asks.

"I don't know. No where.. Just.. My irrationality." I blurt out.

And he laughs. They all do. But I'm serious. Dead. Serious. And I want to explain myself because I'm not crazy. Not that crazy. But I know anything I say further on the topic will only amplify the dread pounding in my chest that tells me rhythmically, "Try the medication again."

But I'm not that crazy. I can still tell the difference between reality and nightmare. And zombies aren't real. I know this. Some times I just let The Beast get the best of me..not tonight I hope. So I just shrug, laugh, and pass the bottle to him.

Its his turn.

"Truth or Dare?" I ask him, shivering. Its close to 3 am and we're sitting in a circle, on a blanket, at the meadow. It's the first time he's playing Truth or Dare, at least with us, and we have our own set of rules.

-Truth: 2 mandatory shots and an honest answer, if some one calls bullshit, you must down a third shot.

-Dare: 1 optional shot, for courage, and a dare, if you chicken out it's a mandatory 2 shots.

-At the end of each round, every player must take a shot. We wait 10 or 15 minutes and play again.

We usually play with beer, equaling 3 gulps to a shot, but I got to Alice's house early that day. She and I were laying on her bed catching up on Perez Hilton gossip and our own drama. I was telling her how our French teacher grossed me out and that I was really reconsidering my fourth year of French. I was laying on my side, navigating the pink website on her laptop when he knocked on the door.

"Come in." she said through the door.

"What are you girls doing?" Her brother, Edward, asked as he came in, shut the door, and leaned against it.

"Chit chatting." she said cheerfully. I stayed quiet, my eyes concentrating on some It Girl on the laptop's screen. I'm not talking to him, I thought to myself.

"Cool, well, what time is this thing?" he asked.

"We should leave about 8:30. Its about a 30 minute drive." she told him.

My face stayed still. But my eyes darted back and forth between them.

"Just give me a 10 minute heads up before you girls are ready to go." he said.

"Sure thing, boss." she said playfully.

"What are you girls in the mood for?" he asked looking at me. I couldn't answer from the disbelief. I looked questioningly at Alice.

"What are you in the mood for?" she asked me, her eyes uneasy.

After the past few days and the new direction the night was taking, I had a feeling I was going to need something strong.

"Whiskey?" I ask her, more in confusion, than giving her an option.

"Whiskey." she relays to her brother.

"Whiskey." he confirms, nodding his head. He turns to head out and calls back, "Let me know when you're ready."

"'Kay." she calls as the door closes.

The moment the door handle clicks, I snap my head to her to demand an explanation. But Alice just sits there paging through a Marie Claire.

"He's coming?" I whisper harshly.

"I'm sorry, babe!" she whispers back with some guilt, but then she smiles. "Its just, well, he started talking to me again."

Alice is my best friend, has been for the past 8 years. And during all that time, which includes week long sleep overs at her house, I've seen very little of Edward, spoken to him much less. She's always told me that he's very "anti-social" and that's "how Edward is" with everyone, not just me. She says I shouldn't take anything he says or does seriously.

But I take everything to heart.

About 2 or 3 months before I played Truth or Dare with Edward for the first time, Alice and I sat in her kitchen having lunch and discussing our music lecture from that morning. Edward walked in to make himself a sandwich, and as usual, didn't even look at us. Much less say hello. So, Alice and I went on about our conversation.

"MTV actually helped artists get on the map. Take Daniel Johnston. Had it not been for MTV, where would he be now?" I asked thinking Daniel Johnston was a good example that made my point.

Before Alice even had the chance to rebuttal, I heard Edward snicker.

I looked over the breakfast bar where we were sitting, and across the kitchen to where he was setting a used knife and spoon into the sink.

"What?" I asked, not sure of what he finds funny.

"What do you even know about Daniel Johnston, little girl?"

"What?" I asked confused again, now unsure of why he was giving me such attitude.

He repeated his question. Slowly. Even the 'little girl' part. Simply to mock me. I felt like standing up, walking over to him, and show him just how strong this little girl could punch him in the face. But I kept myself sitting next to Alice, who was sitting frozen, mouth hanging open and holding her sandwich half way to her mouth.

"I happen to know quiet a bit. What's it to you?" I asked defensively. I felt under attack.

"How old are you?" he asked, eyeing me curiously.

"Seventeen." I spat out.

"Seventeen? Daniel Johnston was writing songs before you were even born." he said almost laughing.

"See? This is what I mean." I say turning to Alice. "If it weren't for MTV none of us seventeen year old little girls would know a thing about Daniel Johnston." I say this trying to get back to the topic of MTV's importance, and trying to ignore whatever bug crawled up Edward's ass.

"I guess," she says finally agreeing with me, "But all they did was play music videos." she added trying to return to her original stand on MTV.

"Well, yes and no." I say turning my whole body to face Alice, my back towards Edward, as he took the last stool at the breakfast bar. I go on to explain to her that even if all MTV had indeed done was to have played music videos, they still would have helped expose many artists and deliver music to the masses.

He laughs the word 'masses'.

I ignore him.

I tell her that MTV was not only a launching pad for artists like Daniel Johnston, but that they were the masterminds behind all things music back in the day.

'Back in the day' makes him laugh harder. Which brings me back to wanting to punch him in the face and make him see just how funny I can be. His laughter makes Alice tense up.

I ignore him

I tell her how if MTV had wanted it so, Mandy Moore would have shaved her head instead of Britney Spears. All MTV would have had to have done was play more Mandy videos than Britney videos. I went on explaining, accepting the fact that no one gives two shits about MTV anymore, but sticking to my guns and pushing my point.

MTV used to be important.

"It makes sense." she sighs heavily, "But I already signed up for the cons of MTV."

"Its okay," I tell her. "The prompt doesn't say what time period. You can focus on what MTV means today. You can even use the Britney's shaved head thing as a con and write about how it's a con to have something like MTV influence how people-"

"Jesus!" he exclaimed. "You have an answer for everything, don't you?"

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem?" I demand as I turn completely around in the stool to face him head on, my heart pounding heavily in my chest. Its talking to me again. My heart speaks to me in palpitations. And its saying "PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE!"

"You." he says, not bothering to look me in the eye. Or to look at me at all. "You talk too fucking much." he says looking at his sandwich before taking a huge bite.

I'm wordless as I try to make sense of what the hell is going on. Why he is acting like such a douche. I hardly know the guy. I've never been anything but polite. Truth be told, Alice and I got into more than our fair share of trouble, and when it came down to it, I was more scared of what her brother would assume about me rather than fearing her parents' reaction to seeing us come home wasted or having to call them for a ride home when we were too wasted. Her parents were ubderstanding. He was just kind of too intense.

"No one is forcing you to stay and listen to our conversation." Alice said coldly to her brother, speaking for me. I was too dumbfounded.

"You're right." he said angrily as he stood up, picking up him plate loudly. "Why I bother talking to you is beyond me." He says to Alice with venom in his voice, trying to poison my friend.

I glare at the back of his head as he heads out of the kitchen. Bother talking? Talking..? He was clearly trying to pick a fight.

"Yea? Well, don't bother on my account." she calls after him.

" I wont." he yelled back from down the hall right before he slammed his door so hard I was sure he'd torn it off the hinges.

We sat there in stunned silence for about 15 seconds before we heard "I have lost my mind" start playing loudly from his room.

He sure as hell had lost his mind.

I hadn't spoken to him since. And wasn't planning on it. More importantly, Alice and Edward hadn't spoken since and as much as Alice would have liked to have the world believe she didn't care, she did. And there had been two occasions in which, once sober and once drunk, she'd told me she wished her brother was nice to her.

This afternoon, Edward was being nice. He had been since the previous night. Alice seemed almost blissful as she told me the story of how he'd knocked on her door the day before after I'd left and asked if she'd seen his Nevermind CD. She hadn't seen it. She told me how they'd run into each other in the kitchen a few hours later, and rather than ignore her, he randomly said, "oh, hey. I found my CD. It was in my car." to which she replied, "cool." Then, apparently this morning he said "Hey." to her as she poured milk into her cereal.

She'd missed her brother.

And so when he greeted her that afternoon as she walked in the front gate by where he was playing basketball on his own, she took his good mood for all its worth and invited him to come out with us.

"I hope its okay, babe." she said apologetically.

I shrugged. I didn't like this one bit. But I sure as hell wasn't going to deny my friend this tiny bit of hope. The tiny hope that her brother could be nice to her.

"I should have asked you first. I just blurted it out. I didn't think. I should have given you a heads up before you left your house." she says this with enough guilt that I feel I should hug her or something. "I'm sorry." she repeats.

"Its fine on my part, Alice." I tell her trying to sound honest. "If I remember correctly, it was he who went nuts on me." I remind her. "Besides," I say trying to lessen the annoyance I feel, "that was months ago and I harbor no ill feeling toward your brother. Even if he is an asshole." I say joking. Trying to joke. Sort of.

And he was an asshole. But its hard to remember that now, at the meadow, as he took the bottle of Jack Daniels from my drunk, frozen hands.

"Truth or Dare?" I repeat.

"Truth." he said.

**N/A: Leave a review, please :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Once again, no beta, so ignore mistakes. O****r better yet, point them out and I'll try to someday fix them. Thanks for the reviews and words of encouragement from my first chapter 3 **

**Song recs: Glycerine by Bush. Darkness Descends by Laura Marling.**

At around 8:30, Alice and I got into the car with Edward and we drove to pick up Rosalie and Jasper at their house. The Hale twins and I were introduced to each other a short time after I first moved to Forks in the 6th grade and I'd become friends with Alice Cullen.

Alice has always been on friendly and on good terms with everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Except Edward, because Edward Cullen is a whole different story. The Hales and the Cullens have always been friends since their parents have always lived in Forks and were very close as kids.

I, on the other hand, have not.

Rose is technically older than Jasper, only by 3 minutes. But even so, she's spent her whole life calling Jasper her "Little brother." As in, "If you hurt my little brother, I'll break your legs."

Sometime during freshman year, Jasper and I became close friends. I would say, second to Alice, he was probably my best friend. I missed school for a week before winter break due to a cold and Jasper picked up all my homework and brought it over so I could catch up during the break. When my dad let him in, I was in bed listening to Neil Young. Something in that man's voice soothes me. I think Jasper fell in love with music that day. He came back nearly every day of winter break to explain his notes to me and help me catch up. We sat in my room doing homework and listening to a lot of my dad's old records. Jasper quickly became like the brother I never had. Rose, I guess, got the wrong idea.

It's not that Jasper's not a really good looking guy. He's tall and has the kindest blue eyes, and wavy blonde hair. He's so cool, calm, and collected. And funny as fuck. At first I was a bit smitten by him, I'll admit, but the more we hung out the more we formed a platonic kind of bond. Rose misinterpreted, or maybe she was just jealous that Jasper and I spent so much time together.

Any time Rose threatened me or my legs, I would just roll my eyes at her because I'd seen time and time again at school that Rosalie Hale was not a bitch to be fucked with. Rose is a tall, beautiful creature with long blonde hair, pink lips, and pale skin. She resembles a very expensive porcelain doll. She was really intimidating at first, her crystal blue eyes could get so cold, but as I grew older, I learned to see the cracks. I wasn't scared of her, but I knew that if I went head to head with her, not only would I be creating unnecessary problems for myself, but for Jasper and Alice too…mostly for Jasper. I have a feeling she held back her wrath on me because my father, Chief Swan, wouldn't have a problem arresting her if she assaulted me.

Oh, the perks of being Chief Swan's daughter.

Those perks in particular came in handy on nights like this. Being known throughout the town as Chief Swan's daughter led people to believe that I was somehow a responsible kid by virtue, so Billy Black, my dad's oldest friend, had no problem letting my friends and me into his bar. It was 18 and over but since Alice and I were the only minors he didn't give us a hard time. He simply warned Edward against buying us booze, since we were all minors, or any for him since he was driving us home.

"Of course not, Sir. I wouldn't dare." He said with a face so serious it made me bust out laughing. We'd gotten to the bar a little after 9pm, and I'd already taken a few shots from the bottle of whiskey Edward bought for us on the way. I was nicely buzzed. Billy gave me a curious sideways glance as I grabbed Alice by the hand and dragged her off closer to the stage.

Jacob, Billy's son, and his band were playing tonight. Jacob is probably my only other real friend in Forks, besides Alice and Jasper. I used to come to Forks to stay with Grandma Marie, Dad's mom, a few weeks every summer and she'd come spend the holidays with us in Phoenix. The times I came to Forks, Billy and Jacob would always come by Grandma Marie's house after their fishing trips to drop off some of their catch. In return, Grandma would invite Billy and Jake over for dinner. So when my parents and I moved here, Jake was the only person that I kind of knew. Jake's a couple years older but we have always gotten along really well. We started really hanging out when I was 15. It was shortly after my mom took off.

My mom was really unhappy in Forks. When we left Phoenix, we left behind all of my mom's family and a ton of her lifelong friends. Like me, my mom has never been very sociable or easy to get along with. My mom and dad have pretty much always been unhappy, but it became unbearable in Forks. Maybe it was the weather. Mom always complained about missing the sun. She was home sick and my dad was always working.

Moving back to Phoenix was not an option. Grandma Marie was very ill and needed looking after. Dad's an only child too, so there was no way in hell he was going to leave his mom alone when she was sick. My mom couldn't understand that. She comes from a huge family where there is always someone who can help. Even though dad's new job as Chief of Forks paid a lot more than he made in Phoenix, money was still too tight to just turn around and go back.

The years went by and mom got fed up. She gave my dad an ultimatum, "We go back to Phoenix or I want a divorce." But their marriage was beyond repair. We all knew that. So she gave me an ultimatum, "Come home with me, or stay with your father."

When I first moved to Forks I'd wanted to go back to Phoenix more than anything. I missed the sun too. I missed my old friends. I missed my old bedroom. But by the time mom and dad were getting a divorce, I had a life here. I had Alice, Jasper, and Jake. I had Grandma Marie.

The day my mom left for Phoenix, I was livid. I couldn't believe she was actually going to leave us. I was so convinced she'd have a change of heart and not be able to leave us behind. But it seemed almost like a relief to her that I'd chosen to stay with my dad. She just hugged me, said, "Be good." and drove off.

As soon as I realized she wasn't coming back, I climbed the stairs to my room and slammed the door shut. I blasted music and spent about 10 minutes trashing my entire room. I ripped down all the pictures of my mom and tore apart any reminder of her. Stuffed animals and clothes she'd said I looked pretty in were all left in shreds.

Once I calmed down, I called Jake and he came by with Alice. He had swiped booze from his dad's bar so I took them to my favorite place in Forks. I ran out of my house with an arm load of supplies. I had some blankets, my back pack with spare clothes, my cell phone charger, cups, and random things to eat.

We drove for about 2 minutes to where the roads became dirt and lead into the woods. After we parked and unloaded blankets and our supplies, I lead them on a hike for about 10 minutes.

"This is it." I said when we reached the meadow, walking ahead a bit and laying out blankets.

"This place is wonderful. How come you've never told me about it?" Alice asked. I think she honestly would have told me if this was her secret place, but I'm more selfish than she is.

"I don't know." I said. "It never came up."

"I'd keep it to myself too." Jake whispered, leaning into me.

"You guys can't tell anyone." I say, "I'll kill you if I ever come out here and I find you here… and no one would find your bodies. Got it?"

"I would never be out here by myself." Alice said. "You never know what kind of weirdo hang out here. Or what kind wild animals are around." She looked around nervously at the trees surrounding us.

"I'm the kind of weirdo that hangs out here." I say, "And I've never seen any wild animals out here. So it's safe." I looked around, wondering if maybe we should've just gone to Alice's house and drank in her basement.

What's done is done. This place is no longer mine. It's ours. But that's ok, I guess, I thought to myself, sadly.

I started coming out here when we first moved to Forks, when I didn't have friends to hang out with and I got way too bored of being home all the time with my mom. If she wasn't bitching about one thing she was bitching about another. Dad had told me not to wonder into the woods, because of wild animals, but I was never good at listening to my dad, or anyone for that matter, except maybe Grandma Marie. The woods just called to me. I felt so much better in the company of the trees than I did in the company of my parents. I'd come out here on my bike any chance I got. After a while I started to leave a backpack in a tree that held my old walk man, mix cds, batteries, a flashlight, and a few books.

That night, after mom had crushed me for the last time, Alice, Jake, and I spent all night out in the meadow drinking and listening to music on our cell phones.

I cried, a lot. But neither of them told me to stop crying. Neither of them told me that it'd be okay. And it was a huge relief to not have to pretend to believe them.

Once I got most of it out of my system, I played some slut wave song and Alice and I got up and started singing obnoxiously and dancing around like idiots.

Around 2:30 am, Mrs. Cullen called Alice and told her that my dad had been looking for me and that I was always welcomed to spend the night with Alice, but that I needed to let my dad know where I was at immediately.

I walked over to some trees to call my dad and let him know I was going to stay with Alice.

"Bells, you should come home."

"I can't be home right now, Dad." I felt the lump in my throat start to build again. I felt my chest start to cave in. My heart beat started to pick up. "I'm going to stay with Alice. I'll see you tomorrow."

I hung up without saying anything more, without waiting to see if he had anything more to say.

Jake took us to Alice's house soon after I hung up.

"Stay on the couch." Alice said, "I'll go let my mom know we're home and I'll grab you blankets."

"Alright, thanks." Jake said.

Alice walked down the hall to her parents' bedroom. Jake and I sat on the couch waiting for her.

"You know, my mom left too." Jake said quietly as he put an arm around my shoulders. I leaned my head into him. He always felt so warm and good.

"I didn't know." I say shaking my head slightly. "I mean, I know she hasn't been around. I didn't know she left."

"She left us for some guy. I was too little to know what was happening. I don't remember his name and no one talks about it, you know?" I could tell this isn't something he shared with people often. I could tell in his face that he was uncomfortable. I took his hand in both of mine and waited for him to continue. "When I think back to a few months before she left, I remember a man always in the back ground. The same guy she talked to in line at the store. The same guy who she'd wave at when he drove by after work. The same guy who was sometimes at my house when I got home from school early." Jake paused for a bit. "My mom left my dad 'because she loved this guy more, I get that. What I don't understand is how moms can leave their kids. "

"I don't understand it either." I sigh.

I don't think I'd ever understand it. Wasn't she supposed to always be there for me? Wasn't she supposed to be the one person on this planet who I could trust completely? Who would never hurt me? Who would always look out for me?

After Jake got settled on the couch, Alice and I went to bed. We left the TV on low and lay down.

"I love you." Alice whispered to me, tossing her arm over me.

"I love you, too." I whispered back to her.

"I'll never leave you, you know that right? I'm always right here."

"You better not, bitch. I'll hunt you down." I say teasing as I grab her hand and squeeze it because I wanted to somehow communicate to her that I would hold her to that promise.

"Oooh, I'm scared." She said, squeezing my hand back.

"Shut up and go to sleep." I say and I close my eyes, allowing myself to feel the alcohol lull me to sleep.

From that night on, I haven't spoken about my mom to anyone. It agitates me when dad brings her up. It sets my nerves on fire. My head boils. My heart pumps blood through my body, to my brain way too fast, and I can hear it rushing in my ears. I still talk to her, because honestly, I miss her. Her voice alone makes me feel a little better on my really shitty days, but even now, two years later, I'm nowhere near forgiving her. It's not like we sit on the phone chit chatting for hours about boys or school. She more or less calls just to see if I'm still alive. She asks about school, to which I answer, "Its fine." She asks about Alice to which I answer, "She's fine." She asks about dad, to which I answer, "He's fine." I never ask her about how she's doing because I don't want to hear it. I don't want her to think I care. But mostly I don't ask her how she's doing because it would kill me to hear her say, "I'm great! I love Phoenix more than I ever loved you! I'm so happy here in my new life without you, honey."

Mom would never be so cruel intentionally, but mom has very little regard to how her words come off to others. If she said, "I'm doing well." I would hear, "Thank god I left you behind." If she said, "I got a cat." I would hear, "I replaced you." So, to keep myself safe, I just simply prefer to keep her and her new life at a distance. The distance between Forks and Phoenix. A distance she put there.

More than likely tonight would be another sleep over night with Alice so I didn't even try to go slow with the water bottle full of whiskey in my purse. I'd had a horrible week, as horrible weeks are common for me. Dad had been trying to get me to go visit mom in phoenix during winter break, mom had been texting me constantly about trips to the spa and how her new boyfriend, Phil, was dying to meet me. I'd almost texted back, "Let him die. Lol." But I figured she'd get mad, call dad, and dad would only lecture me on how we shouldn't wish death on anyone…blah blah blah.

On top of my parents, I had promised Grandma Marie I'd go over during the week to paint her living room, but between school, homework, trying to find a job, and my general laziness, I'd been putting it off. I'd called her earlier in the day to let her know I'd be by Sunday.

I look around me. I'm in a crowd of people. Alice is at my side, but I don't see Rose, Jasper, or Edward. I hand the water bottle over to Alice and she takes a small swig, a tiny swig really, and hands it back. I put it in my purse and pull her to the bathroom.

Once inside, I finish off the whiskey and toss the bottle.

"Do you have lip gloss?" I ask her. She hands it to me and I reapply the gloss. I look at her in the mirror, she standing behind me. "What's wrong?" I ask her because I can always tell.

"Edward…nothing."

"Oh, no you don't. Tell me."

"Fine," she huffed. "Edward and Rose went outside, that fucking slut. I swear, if she hooks up with him I'm going to make sure Emmett finds out."

"Who?" I ask curious. I wasn't aware Rosalie Hale was capable of positive feelings.

"Emmett. Remember him? He's Edward's friend." She says.

"I don't know who you're talking about."

"He's really big, I guess, has dark hair, brown eyes. He's really cute. He was at the house last week when you and I made brownies."

"Oh, the asshole who kept smearing my face with batter?" I say. This Emmett guy was actually really cute, but as with most of the guys around this lame ass town, the moment he opened his mouth the attraction wore off. He kept dipping his fingers into the batter and smearing it on my face, then making a stupid, "Oops," face and saying, "Come here, Bella, I can lick that right off." I'm sure he and Edward had been drinking or smoking or something outside, but it didn't make it any less annoying. He seemed just the dumb shit loser Rose would be after.

"Yea, that's the one, but he's really not an asshole. He just gets a little silly when he's like that." She tried defending him.

"Well, he seems perfect for Rose. I'm sure she's just out there trying to get information out of Edward."

"I hope so."

"Okay, so the show is going to be over pretty soon, I think he said they're only playing half an hour. What should we do after? I don't want the night to end yet." I say.

"We could go to the meadow." She says quietly.

"No way, let's go to your house and play kings cup or something. We still have a lot of that bottle left."

"We can't. Not yet anyways. Mom and Dad are having some friends over for dinner. I'm sure they're home right now playing drinking games themselves." She laughs at the thought, "I'm also pretty sure that Mr. and Mrs. Newton are staying the night because Mr. Newton always gets too drunk to drive and Mrs. Newton doesn't drive at all, spoiled bitch. So we either go home to sleep, or we go to the meadow."

"Where else could we go?" I ask myself out loud. My house? No, dad's home and he'd kill me if he smelled me all boozed up. Jacob is most likely staying until the bar closes to help his dad clean up. Jasper's mom is home and she hates me just as much as Rose does.

"Fine." I relent, "Let's go to the meadow."

When we get back near the stage, Japer, Rose, and Edward are standing in the crowd. Jasper and I go outside for a smoke, and when we come back inside Jake's band, the Nightmares, were just about to start. Jake, Quil, Embry, and Sam were all on stage double checking their instruments' tunings. I dragged Jasper behind me all the way to the front.

"Hey everybody." Jake said quietly into the mic, "We're the Nightmares, and we're going to play some music."

"Wooooo!" I shout as I feel a surge from that last bit of whiskey I downed in the bathroom. I look around for Alice and see her making her way towards me and Jasper, Edward and Rose right behind her. She shoulders her way next to me and together we whoop and holler at the band as they start up with a song I remember Jake wrote when he broke up with some skank named Leah. I never really knew her all that well because she and Jake are a little older and both went to school on the reservation, but I could tell she made Jake miserable. I'm not sure Jake's actually gotten over her.

After another few songs, by which point I am more than just buzzed, they cover a few Bush songs. I sing along to Come Down, and out of the corner of my eye I can see that Edward is singing along too. He sings along to Glycerin, and I wonder what else we have in common.

Obviously not that much, he's arrogant and rude, and he's completely the opposite of the kind of person I'm friends with, but still the idea lingers in my head.

After their set, Jake and his band come over to us. I hug Jake tightly and tell him how good he was. I hug the rest of the band and tell them how good they were too.

"Here," Jake says handing me some stickers.

I look at the stickers and I recognize the art work. Jake and I had been sitting in my kitchen a few weeks back, while Billy and my dad watched a game in the living room. Jake had been drawing on my arm while he told me the band had gotten booked for a few shows. He'd drawn a dream catcher. The word "Nightmares," had been spelled out in the dream catcher as if the letters were flies caught in a spider's web.

"I like it." I told him. "It should be your band logo or your album's art work."

He took a picture of it with his phone and sent it to Sam. He'd replied, "That should be our logo."

"Told you so." I smiled.

I handed out the stickers to Rose, Jasper, Alice, and Edward.

"So, are you helping your dad tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah. What are you up to after this?" he asked.

"We're going to the meadow." Alice chirped in.

"No way." Jake said surprised. "She's taking more people there?" he asked Alice.

"Yes. It's already been tainted. No point in trying to salvage it now." I say half serious.

"We'll be there if you guys want to come by later." Alice says, "We're going to head out now. You guys were awesome." She hugs one by one, and I follow after her, saying good bye and how I can't wait to see them preform again.

Walking across the parking lot to the car, Alice walks ahead to talk to Jasper. As much as she denies it, I know she likes him. I just hope for her legs sake, that she isn't as obvious to Rose who is walking with them.

I walk silently next to Edward, "So you don't take people to this meadow of yours?" he asks.

"It's not mine, per say. And no, not usually." I say curtly and step away. I walk faster to catch up with Alice. I link my arm in hers and I ask Jasper what he thought of the Nightmares' original songs.

Jasper and I talk in the back seat about the Nightmares, their musical style, and lyrics, until we park on the side of the woods. We get out and I lead the way to the meadow with a flashlight Alice luckily remembered to bring.

In the meadow, we lay out some blankets, put music on Rose's phone, and we sit in a circle. The moon is above us providing more than enough light to see each other.

"Who wants to go first?" I ask.

"First for what?" Edward asks.

"Truth or Dare, silly." I say picking up the bottle of whiskey.

**A/N: If you have any questions, just hit me up. Leave a review, please.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for/if you're still reading this. I didnt get any reviews this chapter, but i did get a butt load more story alerts which I think is awesome, cause i means you guys want to read more. So thanks for all the story alerts. I think it goes with out saying, but for giggles, I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT.**

**Song recs: Comedown by Bush.** Friends by Band of Skulls.** Zombie by The Cranberries. ( & Zombie by The Pretty Reckless).**

I explain the rules to Edward and tell him that since it's his first time he can ask truth or dare first and I'll answer it, and then well go around the circle.

Edward dares me to prank call Mike Newton. I pretend I'm trying to call Domino's and try to order a pizza shaped like a penis, but he tells me to fuck off and quickly hangs up.

I dare Alice to take a shot since she's hardly been drinking all night. She looks at me as she takes her shot, and I make a mental note to ask her what the fuck is up later.

Jasper dares Rose to call their parents and tell them she's run off to Vegas to marry an Elvis impersonator; she refuses and so takes her shots.

Alice dares Jasper to call his parents and tell them he's run off to Vegas to marry an Elvis impersonator; he refuses and takes his shots as we all make fun of him.

Rose asks me what movie I had last cried while watching. I was tempted to lie, but Alice had been watching it with me. I'd been tempted to man up and take my 3 total shots for not 'fessing up but I'd been drinking far more than everyone else and I know my words were already slurring.

"The Lion King."

Edward looks like he wants to make fun of me, I shrug at him. They all laugh and tell me how stupid it is to cry at a Disney movie.

"You know what? You guys can go to hell, that movie is sad!" I say.

"Which part made you cry?" Edward asked me.

"When Mufasa dies." Alice and I answer, she pats my back sympathetically.

I pass the bottle to Edward. Jasper, who also doesn't kbnow Edward all that well even though they've grown up together, asks him truth or dare.

"Truth."

"What did you think of the show tonight?"

"It was pretty good." He says, "I even liked the covers." I remember how he mouthed along to some of the songs, and I wonder what else he likes.

He hands back the bottle to me; I pass out shots to everyone. We cap the bottle and we check the time. 15 minutes and we go again, though we might want to slow down.

I lay my head on Alice's lap who is sitting Indian style next to Jasper. She begins to play with my hair and I feel happy.

At times like this is when I think to myself that I'm invincible. That nothing in this life could defeat me, break my will, if only I could still look forward to a moment like this. Under the stars. With my beautiful friends. Drunk.

I'm in love with the stars, looking up at the sky, breathing for what feels like the first time all week. I try to find constellations and connect stars to make pictures. For a moment, I close my eyes and I can feel Alice's fingers in my hair and I have to fight the urge to turn on my side and fall asleep. Keeping my eyes closed I listen to my friends. Jasper and Edward continue to talk about the show, they move on to favorite bands and songs and I drift away into the stars, to the rhythm of their speech.

When I start to pay attention again to what is actually being said, Jasper is telling Alice a story about a time he and Rose decided to camp out in their back yard. Rose interjected a detail here and there, but mainly she was sitting beside Jasper smoking a cigarette.

I can hear the music from earlier. The chorus repeats in my head.

I don't want to come back down from this cloud.

"Bella's asleep. Maybe we should go home." I heard Edward whisper to Alice.

At the same time Alice said, "She's not asleep." I said, "I'm not asleep." and sat up.

"See? Like the back of my hand." Alice tells Edward with a smirk.

"No way we're going home. I'm the only one drunk." I say, "Come on Jasper, get on my level."

For whatever reason, Alice isn't up to drink tonight. So my options for a drinking buddy are Rose, Jasper, or Edward. Last time Rose and I got deliberately drunk together, we bitched and bickered our way through a vicious game of king s cup. So Rose was out. Between Jasper and Edward, I obviously only felt comfortable with Jasper, so unfortunately for him, I planned on egging him on all night until we were both probably blacked out.

I crawled over to where the bottle was, by Edward's feet, take a sip, and pass it on to Jasper.

"Come on, buddy!" I say as he slowly untwists the bottle cap.

"Alright." He says and with a deep breath downs a few gulps.

"Who else is down?" I say after Jasper hands me back the bottle.

Rose waves away the bottle with her cigarette hand and Alice shakes her head. Out of mere politeness, I offer Edward the whiskey bottle.

I don't know why it surprises me, but it does. It completely catches me of guard that he takes it and downs quite a bit of it.

"There we go!" I say excitedly.

He looks at me, and for whatever reason, he seems shy. Maybe a little uncomfortable even. I don't let that sink in for long because I hear a zombie coming to kill us all.

Okay, so maybe it s not a zombie, but for a few moments I'm convinced that it is and that we're all going to die. I clearly heard a noise and my head snaps toward the trees behind Edward and I freeze...

"Did you hear that?" I ask.

"Hear what?" He asks. Alice, Jasper, and Rose get quiet and turn to where I'm staring. Rose takes a drag, like she has no care in the world as I grab Alice's hand and pull her up to her knees next to me.

Another noise. A twig breaking. Leaves being crushed.

"That." I whisper.

I lean back slowly, ready to jump to my feet, gripping Alice's hand tighter, my heart races and I'm certain we won t make it too far, but I'm sure as hell not going to not make a run for it.

There's another noise and I'm sure we all heard it this time. I try to get to my feet, I swear I'm 2 seconds from bolting further into the woods, like a dumbass, dragging Alice behind me, but Edward reaches out for me, grabbing my wrist, and keeping me still.

Then I hear Jacob laugh.

"FUCK YOU, BLACK!" I shout, dropping Alice's hand, and ripping my arm away from Edward. I jump to my feet and almost run toward Jacob's laughter.

I smack his arm as hard as I can, though I'm sure it hurt my hand more. He throws his hands up in surrender, but I continue. I smack his chest and, after a few more smacks, in one swift movement he turns me around and wraps his arms around me so that I can't even move.

"You're a fucking asshole, you fucking shithead!" I say, and even though my heart is still racing, I laugh. I laugh almost to the brink of hysteria. I laugh out of relief that its just Jake.

"Sorry," he says, "but I couldn't help myself." He lets me go and I smack him one more time, he tries to hug me, and as comforting as that would actually be, I can't allow it. I'll break down in his arms and start crying because I'm still scared. So I shove him towards the group instead.

He sits in front of Alice and I stay standing, needing to shake out my nerves.

"Who has a fucking cigarette?" I ask. My chest is starting to heave. I need a cigarette. I know it was just Jacob, but now I can't stop staring at the trees. I need a cigarette.

"Bella? Here."

I look up and Edward has gotten to his feet. He's standing right in front of me and he's putting a lit cigarette in between my fingers.

"Thanks." I inhale and move away so I don't blow smoke in his face.

I feel like I'm being weird in front of Edward. I mean, the rest of them, even Rose, know I have panic attacks, and even though this is a minor one, I still need a cigarette and to step away for a minute. They know. But Edward doesn't so I feel weird. I don't want to explain this all to him. I want to walk over to the trees and smoke my cigarette alone, but I don't want to step away from the group when there might be zombies out there.

I mean, I'm not stupid. Of course there aren't any zombies in the woods but I can feel them there. Like they're there.

Edward staring at me isn't helping me calm down either. I want to explain but I can't. It seems like too much trouble, and too personal even though 4/5 of them already know.

"You okay?" He asks. The look on his face seems to be of concern and I almost believe it s for me, but he's probably just concerned I'll lose my shit again and he'd end up having to explain to my dad why I got lost in the woods shouting, "They're MY brains!"

I nod exhaling another long stream of smoke. My eyes fixed over his shoulders, searching the woods still.

"We could go home, if you want." He says quietly, stepping a little clohser to me.

"I'm fine." I say, meeting his eyes briefly and shaking my head. After a few more drags I put out the cigarette butt and we both sit down.

"Embry is coming by in a bit." Jacob says, as a warning I assume so I don't freak out if I hear another noise.

"Cool." I say. I feel like they're all quiet and watching me.

"You're a fucking dick." I say and start laughing. To break the tension, I playfully toss my lighter at him. Edward hands me his lighter and I toss it at Jacob too. Alice hands me a pack of cigarettes and Jasper gives me an empty water bottle and I aim both at Jacob's face.

"Hey hey hey! Not the face." He says karate chopping the water bottle before it hits his face.

"Pass me the cigarettes." Says Rose, and he tosses them to her. Then he tosses the water bottle at Jasper and the lighters at my face.

His phone vibrates as I pocket my lighter and give Edward's back.

"He's almost here. Does anyone want anything from the gas station?"

"What we want, they don t sell at gas stations." Says Rose.

"Oh, Embry already has that." He says.

"Score!" I say and high five Rose. Rose maybe cold towards me, she may not be as close to me as Alice, but Rose knows how to have fun. That's mostly why I tolerate her.

When Embry gets to the meadow, it's barely past 2 am. He wedges himself between Alice and me. After a few minutes I can't wait any longer so I hand him $30 and say, "Before I forget."

He hands me back a mini Ziploc bag that I already know contains 4 happy pills. Because that's exactly what they are. Happiness in a tab.

Alice, Rose, and Jasper hand him money as well and get their drug of choice. Alice and Jasper love weed. Rose and I love pills. Any kind of pills.

Today is Saturday night, better said Sunday morning, I think to myself. I can't roll until after I paint Grandma's living room because I don't want her to know I'm high. So maybe Sunday night... I'll just miss school on Monday.

**N/A: Thanks for reading. Leave a review, please :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi. Sorry that its been a while. I'm gonna try to update quicker. Song recs for this chapter are Darkness Descends and Alpha Shallows by Laura Marling, Strangeness and Charm by Florence + The Machine, **Music Box and Fidelity by Regina Spektor. **Anyways, here goes.**

Alice decides she's tired and wants to go home. It's nearing 3 am, and I have to agree with her. If I'm going to get to Grandma Marie's later to paint her living room, I have to try to sleep through at least part of my hang over.

"So, one last round?" I ask openly.

"I'm down." says Jake. Embry and Rose nod.

"Why the fuck not?" says Jasper.

"Alright!" I say. "You in?" I ask Alice.

"No." she shakes her head. "I'm going to drive us."

"Edward?" I ask. He and Alice have some weird sibling eye conversation that I will never understand because I'm an only child. At the end of said conversation, Alice looks a little pissed, at me for whatever reason, but Edward says he's in.

Everyone makes a point to answer truth, I assume for one last shot before we all go home.

Embry confessed to still liking Blink 182.

Rose confessed that she used a night light until she was 12.

Jacob confessed that he used to be terrified of the movie Jaws.

Jasper confessed he had nightmares after watching IT last week.

"Truth or Dare, Bella?" Edward asks.

"Truth." I said.

"So, what did you think was out there in the woods earlier?" he asks, handing me my shot. I can tell he thinks it was stupid to get so scared, but he's not saying so. He's not laughing at me either.

"Zombies." I say quickly and down my shot. I don't know what possessed me to tell the truth. An axe murder! A rapist! A motherfucking bear! I could have said something logical. But no. Zombies is what comes out of my mouth.

"So you're scared of zombies?" he says slowly. Again, he's not mocking me. He seems to be trying to understand and I feel under a microscope.

"Obviously. Did you not see me freak the fuck out?" I say a little annoyed. There's no need to drag this out. I answered his question honestly. We can move on, but I feel like he's curious. I'm just some freak show that's piqued his curiosity.

"Truth or Dare?" I ask him, hoping he says dare. I'm going to dare him to go fuck himself.

"But where does this fear come from?" he asks.

"I don't know. Nowhere... Just…My irrationality." I blurt out.

My friends all chuckle. It's not malicious, I know this, but it feels like a knife to the chest.

But I'm not that crazy.

Zombies aren't real.

I know this!

"Truth or Dare?" I ask frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Bella." he says ignoring the game. He smiles sweetly at me and I can feel my guard begin to lower a bit. Just a bit. I can see how to the rest of them it's nothing. I'm just too sensitive, I guess.

"Truth or Dare?" I repeat, a bit less annoyed and

ignoring his stupid apology, though in my heart of hearts, I know I've already accepted it because tonight has not been a complete failure. He's not been a complete asshole.

I think Alice thought Edward and I were going to kill each other before we even got to the bar, but I've tried my best to keep it cool, and more or less to keep my distance. And even so, once I got liquor in my system, the rest seemed to melt away and I couldn't give 2 shits about who else was with us in the car, at the bar, or even at the meadow.

"Truth." he says.

I try to think of a good question. There's not much I want to know about Edward. I may not know Edward personally, but I've known his family long enough to have a pretty good idea of what he's like... But not why.

I know he's an ass most of the time, but not why?

I know he's cruel to Alice, but not why?

I know he's out of nowhere decided to be civil with me, but not why?

"Why?" I ask.

Everyone looks at me puzzled. I'm drunk and speaking only half my thoughts.

"Why what?" he asks, a confused grin on his face.

"Why are you sorry?"

He takes a deep breath. His eyes become serious.

"Because-" he begins, but I cut him off. I'm pissed off now.

"And nice? Why are you being nice?" I ask in a tone that, even I am ashamed to admit, is quiet rude.

He opens his mouth, but I can't seem to keep mine shut.

"Why don't you like me?" I ask looking him dead in the eyes, daring him to look away and confirm my suspicion, or deny it so I can really go off on him.

"I'm sorry." he repeats.

"That's not what I asked." I snap at him.

Rose and Jasper have their mouths hanging open. Jake is covering his mouth with his hand, trying to hide the fact that he finds this amusing. Embry is just sitting there, exhaling cigarette smoke and looking up at the stars. I think he's still rolling. Lucky bastard.

"Come on," says Alice, getting up and extending her hand to me, "let's go home."

"Actually, I think I'm going to go home." I say. I can walk home in maybe 20 minutes, if I hurry. It's not that far from the meadow.

"You can come home with us." she insists taking my hand.

"I know I can, I just don't want to." I say standing up,

"Besides, I have to go to Grandma Marie's in the morning to paint her living room."

"Well, you sure as fuck can't walk home alone." Edward said, standing up as well. "We'll drop you off." he says. I can tell he's angry. I called him on his bullshit, and now he's pissed. Good.

I ignore his offer and turn to Jacob, who is already nodding at me. He and Embry will take me home. The rest of us stand, as it's obvious that the party is over.

Alice looks at me; I've pissed her off too. Jasper and Rose say bye to everyone, Jasper hugs me and whispers into my ear, "Behave. Let me know when you get home." I nod and he heads to Edward's car. Edward mumbles a goodbye to everyone; I'm the only one who doesn't respond. He looks at me expectantly and I curtsy, "Always a pleasure, Cullen." I roll my eyes at him when he pretends to tip his hat at me and says, "Likewise, Swan."

Alice says, "Text me when you're home." and waves at us as a group. It stung. She always hugs me hello and goodbye.

I don't answer her because she's not my mother, even though we always text each other when we get home. I don't answer her because I'm so angry I could cry.

Mostly, I don't answer because she doesn't wait for me to answer, she walks after her brother.

"Whatever." I mumble to myself as Jake, Embry, and I start gathering up our things and follow behind the rest of them. I walk a few feet behind the rest of them with Jake and Embry. Every now and then I see Jasper turn back. I nod and smile at him, reassuring him I'll be fine. The Cullens and the Hales don't typically hang around anyone other than themselves, and me, so none of them really know Jacob all that well, let alone Embry.

When we reach the cars The Cullens and the Hales load into their car and I spark another cigarette and lean on a tree. I assume they'll drive off soon, but they don't.

"What are they waiting for?" I ask after a while, exhaling smoke all around us.

"For you." Embry says, his hands in his pockets, his face to the stars.

"Well, they're going to be waiting for a while." I say inhaling again, but I don't mean it. I can't stand that Alice is being this way. I want to walk over to their car and ask her why she's being like this with me. But I don't. I really just want this all over. I drop my cigarette and put it out with my boot.

Jake, Embry, and I get into Embry's car. Jake drives out and waves at Edward's car. I don't turn to see if anyone waves back, but once we're on the street I look at the review mirror and see that they're following close by.

Jake parks 2 houses down from my house to not wake up my dad, and turns off the car. Edward parks in front of Embry's car.

Embry is enjoying himself in the back seat and I lean over and shake his knee. He looks at me with a wide smile and I say, "Have fun. I'll see you around."

"Bye Beelllllah." He drags out my name and in my drunken state, it's the funniest thing ever and I laugh a little loud.

"Bye Jake." I lean over to hug him goodbye.

"I'll walk you. Knowing your crazy ass, you'll manage to not make it home somehow." He laughs.

"True." I agree laughing. I feel as light as I've felt in a long time, and I begin to not want to go home, but I'm here already. I get out of the car and Jake meets me on the side walk. I almost tell him to take me somewhere fun. To take me somewhere pretty. To take me somewhere-

"Bella, hold up." Edward says, as he closes his car door.

"Ugh." I whisper to Jake and he laughs.

"I'll walk her home, Jake." He says, "I want to talk to you." he turns to me and I swallow hard because I don't know what about.

Is he going to blow up on me for how rude I was tonight? Does he know why Alice is pissed off at me? Or did I forget something in his car?

Jake looks at me and I nod. "Alright." He says, "Goodnight Bella, hit me up tomorrow."

"For sure. Goodnight, Jake." I hug him and watch as he gets back into Embry's car and they drive off.

I stand silent for a moment under the street lamp, having nothing to say.

"I'll walk you." He says almost mumbled and I start to walk towards my house. He doesn't speak, so neither do I.

We reach my drive way and I start fumbling in my purse for my keys.

"What time are you going to paint your grandma's house?" he asks when we're in the dark, on my door step.

"When I wake up." I say quietly, "and it's just her living room for now."

"Well, would you call me? I'd like to help."

"Why?" I ask, again, in a very rude manner and I cringe on the inside at my behavior. I don't know what it is about Edward that makes me so rude. "I'm sorry." I look down at my phone and keys in my hands.

"I like Mrs. Swan." He says.

"I didn't know you knew her." I say looking him in the eyes. In the dark, I feel brave enough to look him in the face. On my door step, where the moon light hardly reaches, I look him in the eyes, and I let myself really look at him. He's handsome. I can see why Alice used to complain about "skanks calling him all the god damned time." When we were younger, I remember trying to call her house and the line would always be busy. This was when we were still in middle school and neither of us had cell phones.

"Bella, this is a small town. It's amazing how much you chose not to see."

I'm left a little stunned. Is he talking down to me?

"And what exactly have I chosen not to see?" I ask agitated at myself for thinking that this asshole was handsome, even if he is.

"Whoa. Don't get upset, I'm just saying."

"How do you know my grandma?" I ask again.

"If you want a ride over there call me when you wake up. If not, I'll see you there. I'm going to go around 10."

10 am is way too early, especially when I know I'm going to feel like shit, but there is no way in hell I'm going to let Edward Cullen swoop in like some sort of good samaritan and make me out to be the girl who always disappoints people.

"Goodnight." He says and turns to leave.

"Goodnight." I say annoyed as hell.

I go inside and tiptoe my way around the house. I grab a water bottle and some Aspirin before going upstairs. I drop everything on my night stand and barely manage to take off my shoes and jeans before I climb into bed. I plug in my phone and set an alarm for 9:30 am. Just as my head hits the pillow I realize I don't have Edward's number.

I forgo asking Alice for it because she's mad at me, even though I'm going to have to talk to her eventually. To everyone else, it might not seem like she's upset with me, but I know she is. We never fight. Ever. But just the way she looked at me said she was pissed off. The fact that she didn't say goodnight. Even that she wasn't drinking with me made me feel that she was mad. And I don't even know why.

Instead I text Jasper and he says he doesn't have Edward's number but that he'd get it from Rose. Great.

By the time my alarm goes off, I've already been awake for about two hours. I've thrown up twice and dry heaved a few times.

I'm showered and dressed in an old pair of jeans and an old band tee incase I get paint all over myself.

Its crunch time. I'm staring at Jasper's text. I click on Edward's number and save it to my contacts under Cullen. If I leave now, I can make it to Grandma Marie's walking by 10, maybe a little after. Or I could just call Edward. The sun outside is way too bright to walk. I feel way too sick.

"Fuck my life." I say and hit send.

"Hello?" He answers after a couple of rings.

"It's Bella." I say. "If you still want to help, I'll take you up on that ride."

"Okay." He says. "I'll be by in 10 minutes."

"Okay." I say and the line stays quiet for a moment. "Bye." I say.

"See you in a bit."

I put on my sunglasses both to block the light and hide my tired eyes, and grab my purse. I skip any make up because I can't stand my reflection right now. I sit on my door step smoking a cigarette and drinking my water bottle. I feel like shit.

Edward drives up to my house and is out of his car before I even get up. He didn't see me sitting there because he's surprised when I say, "Hey, Cullen."

"Oh, hey." He says running his hand nervously through his hair. In the bright light, even with my sunglasses on, his hair shines and looks so soft it makes me jealous. My hair is still damp from my shower. I should have blown it out a little at least. I stand up and I see he's holding a cup of coffee.

"I thought you might need this." He says handing it to me.

"I'm not much of a coffee person." I say, but I take it and say thanks.

"I know." He smiles, "it's a hazelnut latte."

"That's actually my favorite."

He smiles. He has a beautiful smile and I wonder why I hadn't noticed just how beautiful before.

We get into the car. We quietly sip our drinks for the few minutes it takes to get to Grandma Marie's house.

When we reach her front door, Edward rings the door bell and it feels odd to wait for grandma to open the door. I always just walk in since I have a set of keys. I don't tell Edward that. We just wait.

"How is my favorite granddaughter?" she asks hugging me and pulling me into her house.

"I'm your only granddaughter." I say hugging her back.

"Makes no difference." She says, "and how are you, Edward?" She asks letting go of me to hug Edward.

"I'm doing well, Mrs. Swan." He says.

"We're here to paint your living room." I say.

"Yes, if you just show us where the paint is we can get started." Edward says and I bit my lip to keep in my laughter. He might like my grandma, but he doesn't know her.

"Oh, that's wonderful. But I'm going to get some breakfast in you first."

"I'm fine, but thanks." says Edward.

"Did I ask if you were fine?" She says looking up at him seriously.

Edward straightens up and says, "No, ma'am."

I giggle. There's no turning down Grandma once she's decided to feed you.

Edward and I sit at the table while Grandma makes us flap jacks and bacon. Edward and I don't talk. My words are all aimed at Grandma.

"What color did you decide on, Grandma?"

"Oh, sweetheart, you know me. I can never make a firm choice." She pauses as she flips flap jacks onto a plate. "So I think I'm going to let you run wild and paint it whatever color you want."

"So you haven't bought paint yet?" I ask and turn to look at Edward. He's watching Grandma cook with a look that says he was just being polite by turning down breakfast.

"No, honey." She sets the plate of flap jacks on the table. "I haven't had time. The girls from my book club have planned a last minute trip to San Francisco for a book signing." She continues setting the table around me and Edward. I would help but I know better, Grandma Marie loves to take care of her guests herself. If she needs help, she'll ask.

"I wasn't sure if you'd make it this week," she says and I feel a pang in my heart. She thought I was going to flake. "And I was busy trying to make hotel reservations for us, you know, all those little details."

"How long are you going to be gone?" I ask playing with my half empty latte.

"Just a week. The girls want to take advantage of the trip and sights see a bit." She sets a few flap jacks and bacon on Edward's plate.

"When are you leaving?" I ask. I don't want her to go. What if she doesn't come back?

"A little later, baby. Margery is driving a bunch of us to the airport." She must sense my distress because she stands behind my chair and sets her hands on my shoulders. She squeezes them and lays a kiss on my head, "I'll be back before you know it."

She sets way too much food on my plate and sits with a cup of coffee at the table with us. I'm staring down at the food and I think to myself that this could be the last time Grandma makes me breakfast. And I know I'm being dumb again. I'm exaggerating. Grandma is in good health now, and San Francisco is not that far. Airplanes don't even crash that often. But what would I do without Grandma Marie?

"What book is your club reading?" Edward finally speaks breaking my thoughts.

For the rest of breakfast, Grandma and Edward discuss some vampire book about a psychic girl in love with two hot dudes. Isn't that how it always goes? Edward admits to having read most of the series and I laugh, though he swears the vampire politics drew him in rather than the hunky vampires.

"Sure." I tease.

Edward and I end up sitting with Grandma talking until her friends come by to take her to the airport. I try to keep a straight face so Edward doesn't see me cry. I don't like to cry in front of anyone. I probably only ever rarely cry in front of Alice.

"Make yourselves at home, baby. I'll see you soon." she kiss my cheek. She turns to Edward and says, "Watch over my baby."

"Yes, ma'am." he says, "and we'll have your living room painted by the time you're back."

"Okay, I left my card up stairs, Bella. See you kids soon."

I glance at the clock in Grandma Marie's living room. Its noon. Its as good a time as any. I go to the breakfast table and dig through my purse. The small Ziploc bag Embry gave me last night is in the front zipper and I take out 2 pills and tuck the other 2 inside my jeans pocket. I sit at the table, pushing my unfinished breakfast aside and begin to crush a pill.

"What are you doing?" Edward asks.

"Practicing my scales and arpeggios...what does it look like I'm doing?" he doesn't reply. It feels awkward to just snort ecstasy in front of him, and I can't bring myself to ask him to leave, so I ask, "Do you want some?"

"No." he says firmly.

"So, you're gonna hang around?"

"I thought we were going to get started."

"Um, I guess we could get started." I say. I bundle the crushed pill in saran wrap and stash it in a drawer in the kitchen. I lead the way to Grandma's garage where she had told me a few days ago she'd stored the primer. Edward and I, quietly, move furniture out of the way and lay plastic sheets to protect the floor. We don't speak, except to give instruction on which way to move the couches or , "Ready? Set? Lift." He tells me how best to apply the primer and I just nod and go about doing it my way anyways.

Being as Grandma Marie's house isn't enormous, we finish quickly and Edward suggests we go down to Newton's hardware store and at least pick up the paint so we can get started right after school tomorrow.

I hadn't really given it much thought, what color to use. Grandma had left me her credit card and let me choose the color and I didn't want her to come home in a week to find I'd destroyed her walls. After a little input from Edward and Googling a little about what colors mean, I'd decided on blue and picked the pretties shade there was. On the way back, Edward stops at the gas station. I sit in his car and wait while he goes inside to pay for gas. I look around his car and notice that its very clean.

I hadn't noticed that last night.

I also notice my cardigan in the back seat and I grab it and stick it in my purse. I notice my water bottle in my purse and remember the pills in my pocket. Should I? I mean, why not? We'll be at Grandma Marie's house in 15 minutes, we'll have all this unloaded and put away in another 15 minutes, then Edward will go home and I can just blast music at Grandma Marie's house. I'll probably spend the night there. Dad has an over night shift anyways and I'm sure I have a ton of clothes at her house. I pop the pill and wash it down with the last of my water and turn the car radio on.

Once we get back to Grandma Marie's house, Edward and I carry in loads of paint rollers, paint cans, and other supplies from the car. I can feel it starting. I'd gagged a bit in the car but I'd played it off as being hung over, which I wasn't really anymore. As Edward goes to make the last trip to the car, I start to clear the table and wash the dished from that morning.

"Want some help?" he asks. I look at him, at his eyes, and realize my pupils are probably getting huge, so I look away quickly.

"Sure." I say, "Do you wanna scrub or rinse?" I ask.

"Rinse." he says and I smile moving over and handing him a glass I'd just finished scrubbing.

"Wait." I say, "Go in my bag and get my Ipod?" I ask. "I need music."

"Sure." he says and I nod towards the table where I'd laid my purse.

He digs through it a bit before he finds it and I wonder if he's not just snooping around in there. I point to where Grandma has an Ipod dock and he plugs it in as I keep scrubbing dishes. Florence + The Machine starts to play and I hum along quietly, except its almost impossible to hum along quietly to Florence + The Machine so I start to sing and sway a bit and Edward chuckles.

"What?" I ask giggling. "Don't tell me you don't like this song?"

"I've actually never heard of this band before, but I like it. Her voice."

"Good." I say. "I was gonna have to kick your ass otherwise." and I shoulder him slightly, joking. Sort of.

"It is weird, though." he says and jokingly backs away from me.

"That's a fair statement." I say and he comes close again. Closer than before. And it makes me giddy and I can't tell if its him and his proximity or the pill. I sink my hands into the water and feel around for dishes while Edward continues to rinse.

After a little while the song changes to Regina Spektor's Music Box and I'm a little embarrassed because even I think this is a weird song. Edward is listening to the song and starts to laugh.

"What are the chances that a song about doing the dishes would come on while we're doing dishes?" he asks but I don't answer him, I start to sing it. Loudly.

"You're good." he says. "Really good."

"Thanks." I say, shaking my head. I had taken piano lessons as long as I can remember, and ever since I moved to Forks Grandma Marie had taken over my lessons and had even started giving me voice lessons.

We finish the dishes and we stand there for a moment, neither of us quiet sure what to do now. I mean, on my part at least, last night was bad, but its fine now, right? So why not just go with it.

There's a smile on my face that I can't get rid of, that must be the pill. I feel the air around me sway me, and I roll my head from side to side slowly.

"Do you want to smoke a cigarette?" I ask him.

"Sure." he says.

"I'll be right back." I say and run upstairs to my room. Its not my room per say, but its the room I've always stayed in when I visited Grandma Marie over the summer or the winter. I still stay there sometimes when it gets too late to go home or when Charlie feels bad about leaving me home alone during his long overnight shifts. I have cigarettes hidden in the closet.

We leave my Ipod on and go out the kitchen door to smoke in Grandma's back yard. Its a little after 3 and I wonder if Edward has anything to do today, but I don't ask him.

I hear another Regina Spektor song start and I start to sing it quietly as I exhale. I hand Edward the cigarettes and lighter and close my eyes. I lean back against the house and slide down to the floor.

"Are you okay?" he asks. I can feel his hands on my neck as he tries to straighten my head. "Look at me." he says.

I try, really hard to open my eyes, but I can't. I just smile, "I'm good." I lift my hand to my face and it feels so soft. I start to rub my face but Edward lowers my hand. I take another drag and I can feel my eyes darting around behind my eyelid. I exhale and sing, "I hear in my mind, all of these voices...I hear in my mind all of this music.." I grab on to his arms and his sweater feels so soft, and his arms feel tense. I clench his arms and massage his arms because it feels good to my hands.

"Are you rolling?" he asks, a little disgusted with me, but I can hardly care.

"Yuuupp." I say slowly, popping my lips and giggling.

He lets go of me and stands up. I take another drag of my cigarette and it sends me on another little roll. I tangle my fingers into the ends of my hair, which falls down to my lap. My hair feels like thin light beams.

"Stop that." Edward says but I don't. I feel him take my cigarette and I realize I must have been burning my hair.

I open my eyes as much as possible, my eyes try to focus on Edward who is standing in front of me. He looks angry. No one should be angry. Everyone should be happy. I reach my arms up to him and he hands me back my cigarette, I take a drag and put it out on the floor and reach up to him again.

"What?" he asks annoyed.

"Don't be mad." I say, "Come here."

"No." he says taking a drag of his own cigarette.

"Come on. I want to show you something." I reach for his hand and pull him down. He sits Indian style in front of me and I steady myself on his knees as I sit up and kneel. I reach into my pocket and pull out my 2 other pills. I put them in my palm and show them to him. He says nothing.

I pick one up and hold it out for him to take it.

"No thanks." he says.

"Come one. If you don't, I will." I say trying to entice him.

"Don't threaten me." he says a little too serious.

"Its not a threat," I chuckle, "Its a fact." I say and pop the pill in my mouth and swallow it dry.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asks grabbing my wrists. I clench my hand to keep the pill from falling out of my palm.

"Come on." I say. When he lets go of me, I lick my index finger and pick up the other pill on my finger and offer it to him. His eyes look angry. I bring the pill closer to me and open my mouth, then resignation falls over his face and I've got him. He opens his mouth and I rest my finger on his bottom lip. His lips close around my finger and he sucks on my finger for a second before he leans his head back and sweeps the pill off of my fingertip and the sensation is amazing.

**A/N: And I know this is silly, but just incase, you guys should read up on the "Zombie" attacks that have been happening in the east coast. I read of one in San Diego and so I was a little scared. Leave a review, please :D**


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